Motorbikes
I recently bought a dirt bike. A YZ250F for those interested in such things. To justify buying the motorbike, I told Holly that it was for her. "If you learn to ride," I said, "I will buy a second bigger one for myself and we can go riding together on trails." On Sunday afternoon, we drove to a secluded area in the forest and unloaded the bike."What's this button do? asked*Holly*as she hopped on, "Is that to start it?""That's a bolt. You have to kick start it," I replied, showing her how to put it in neutral and start the engine."Where's the accelerator?" asked Holly."You twist the right-hand grip," I answered, "And it's not called an accelerator on a motorbike, it's called a throttle.""Well that's just stupid, I'm going to call it an accelerator," responded Holly."If you are not going to take this seriously you probably shouldn't..."*"I am taking it seriously," Holly cut in, "You're not the boss of names. Just show me how to make it go. If you can ride a motorbike it can't be rocket science.""Ok, fine," I said, "Squeeze the clutch and put it in gear. No, you press down for first...""So the clutch is called a clutch and the accelerator is called something stupid?" Holly interrupted, "Why didn't they just call the clutch a squeezer?""What?" I replied, "It doesn't matter what it's called, you have to squeeze the clutch and release it slowly as you increase the thro... the accelerator. It's exactly the same process as driving a manual car.""I'm going to call it a squeezer from now on," stated Holly, "So I just twist the whatsit and let go of the squeezer?""Well, yes," I answered, "But you have to release the squeezer slowly and twist the accelerator at the same time otherwise the bike will stall. And if you give it too much accelerator and let go of the squeezer too quickly, it will take off and you will probably crash.""Ok," said Holly as she twisted the throttle to maximum and let go of the clutch to give me a 'thumbs up'.The bike tore forward and Holly, now horizontal and screaming, travelled about twenty metres with the throttle in a death grip before developing speed wobble and being thrown off. The bike flipped a few times before coming to a halt.Running towards her, I saw Holly climb unsteadily to her feet, hold out her arms as if doing an impression of a plane caught in turbulence, then fall over again. Kneeling at her side and asking if she was ok, Holly turned to me, focused, and said, "You are a terrible ******* teacher."
Hilarious
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