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Cat Fu

The story of the (possible) origins of the Ancient and Noble Art of Cat Fu is here. The Rules

Every good bout of Cat Fu begins with The Stare
(Or possibly an irresistibly twitchy tail.
Find your opponent. Look at him funny. Possibly spit in his water. The fight is on!
If this place is only big enough for one of you, it’s time to initiate Move 2 – The Raised Paw
If your opponent doesn’t want to play, consider sticking a paw in his eye.
(Be aware though, that the above action may backfire on your paw.)
This thus begins the main part of Cat Fu – The Grapple
Consider squeezing him into submission
Grappling may be done from different levels of elevation
An important subsection of The Grapple is The Ear Chew.
Ear chewing features in most bouts of Cat Fu
But if your opponent is bigger than you, victory may be short-lived.
To win the fight, lie on your back and punch his head repeatedly. Victory!
When your defeated opponent has slunk off to the background to eat kibble, start again by finding a passer-by and biting his neck. (Note – this works best when your Fu partner is much smaller than you.)
If your opponent is feisty, you may be forced to retreat
If all else fails, eat his head

Fighting Dirty

If you happen to catch your nemesis asleep, have a gnaw on his tail while you can
Then hide, and wait to pounce
Catch your opponent off-guard by attacking an unexpected place
Or strike while your opponent is is a vulnerable position
Distract your opponent by indicating that there may be food in the opposite direction. Then swiftly initiate The Grapple.
While he’s resting, bite his nose
Add insult to injury by being rude
If your rudeness fails, yell some really obscene things about his mum.
When attacking an opponent from an elevated position, take advantage of the sudden pawstrike to decisively win the bout and become Top Cat…for 10 minutes at least.
 

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lol ceph, how do u find these kinda things, they are just hilarious
 

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like were u on the whole pootie tang cat thing and searched for it? that scares me tho just remembering the whole honda polish and porn discussoin earlier....everything seems to follow suit after talkin bout it
 
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