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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Posted this on another board, and I figured you guys might wanna hear it too.

Btw, crash was August 2nd. I'm all healed now. Shoulder keeps popping out though.


Well we have been pretty busy with the crash stories and I was starting to feel jealous so I got one of my own tonight.

Typimg wuth one hand so I'll be brief.

PCH south tonight after bravo burger at approx 920

Doing about 50ish (posted 50). Im in the center lane of the divided highway 2 double yellow lines inbetween with concrete barrier a little bit ahead inbetween magnolia and brookhurst in huntington beach..

#1 Late model 4 door sentra is off in an enlarged busstop area on the right side of road. car turns on left blinker. Im guessing car wants to merge into slow lane, so I start moving over to the left to give him extra room.
#2 However, Mensa candidate is actually turning left to cross entire south side of pch (not in an intercection) in order to pull an illegal U-turn across double yellow median.

#3 I immediatly brake but am unable to break laws of physics. I t-bone the car and proceed to do my best suprman immitation down pch. bike goes into opposite lanes and proceeds to do an excellent immitation of a pinball with multiple cars that are proceeding northbound.

I know right away that my collarbone is busted good. fingers and toes work. get up and go sit by the side of the road. tons of people stop and start looking for my body in the northbound lanes near where my bike is.

Ifinally go up and tell them im ok besides the busted wing. I never end up seeing or meeting driver or seeing bike.

Ambulance and fire onscene less than 4 mins. Im boarded and collared, transported to Hoag (because apparebtly they have the best looking nurses which is what medical personnell recommended when they asked me where i wanted to go).

Broken clavicle confirmed, road rash (the size of 2 hands on my left hip and lower back ) scrubbed and cleaned.

Motocop came and did report in hospital. Mensa candidate was cited immediatly. Informs me that more than touch up paint and buffing wax will be needed to restore bike. Motocop hits on nurses and makes me laugh which does not feel great with busted wing. Male nurse shows me hot pix of female nurse (who is my main nurse) with large boob implants in a bikini. I feel better.

My phone treo 650, fails impact testing horribly. Unable to call anyone since the only phone number I know by heart is Howard Stern (1888-9-AS$HOLE). Finally remember a number for a friend who comes and picks me up.

Pain now sets in as I am trying to get up and leave. Clavicle moves around and provides me with outstanding sensations of pain. I pass out and have minor seizure. Drink water.. try again to get in wheelchair.. turn white and begin sweating but maintain cinsciousness. Go home and call mom and friends.


 

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Discussion Starter · #2 · (Edited)
I am left handed, and now because my arm is in a sling, I am unable to masturbate and attain any sleep whatsoever. This could become a serious problem and may lead to insomnia if I am unable to become a switch hitter.

You, as a reader, benefit from this becuz I am still awake post pix!

On a sidenote, my sprained ankle is not getting any better... I must climb 4 sets of stairs to reach my bedroom from where I park my car. Outlook is not good.

I also realize my right pinky toe is possibly fractured. Theres nothing the docs or anyone can do for this besides tape it to the next toe anyways so i went ahead and did that.

Front side of jeans. Phone was in left pocket. Note abrasions on left knee and left hip.


Rear side.


Closer view.. please note my jacket attachment to belt loop has failed. This resulted in jacket riding up during slide. Also note new "easy access port." While Im sure this could be a hit at the ghey clubs, it is definitly not my preferred style.


Left boot, minor abrasion damage


Right boot, minor abrasion damage



Teknic Scirocco Jacket. This is the inner liner that I wear on hot days when I dont go freeway riding. It has Cordura on the chest, arms, and back. It also has hard CE armor in the shoulders and elbows, with a flexible back pad armor as well. Note heavy damage to left side.


Rear of jacket. More damage to left side.. also damage on center of back.




Left side view.. Im guessing I impacted here.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
Arai Rx-7 Corsair, Gary Mccoy replica. Motorcycle show closeout special $275. More left side damage.


Top of helmet... guess I tried to do my best headspin immitation.. minus the linoleum and rap music of course.


Alpinestars GP-plus gloves. Left hand. These thingsa held up great and are probably still usable. heavy abrasion to palm and left side of glove.


Right hand. held up great.


Gratuitious A$$ shot. The jacket rode up on me during the slide giving me a good spot of road rash. My sister is a nurse (shes married you leg humpers) so she will be by later today to change dressing and clean wound.


Me practicing my myspace posing.


Yep, my sis Kimmy (nurse) just came by to change my dressing....

I dont like the site of blood so if you wanna look click on the linkys at the bottom.





http://home.earthlink.net/~mbarber/crash/shavedmitchy.JPG <-- Ouchy!

http://home.earthlink.net/~mbarber/crash/yummy.JPG <--Not Good
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 · (Edited)
Well yesterday was ok, called the insurance company and got the ball moving. Went to the doctor with my sis... the doctor kept calling her my wife, insest is not my bag either. no more sling,.. the gave me a "figure 8 brace that i can wear underneath my shirt. I like this brace better because it allows me to move my left arm and keeps my shoulder in place.



With the busted collarbone.. my shoulder will relocate now and try to pop in and out of its socket. This provides me with fantastic pain and leaves me wimpering like a little girl. I rediscovered this pain last night when i changed my t shirt. very uncool.

Ialso went out and took a look at the scene of the crime. I ended up finding a few useless fragments of what used to be my bike. I also saw my skidmark but i wasnt willing to run out in traffic to catch a picture. My car is parked where the Mensa candidate was. He tried to make a u turn from there.. wow.



I slept a little last night, but not much...I can rack out for about 3-4 hours but after that I need another vicoden. I have also found my back becoming stiff due to me holding my shoulder in a protective manner. This is definitly sucking.

Oh yea, my pinky toe is changing colors now. No peticure jokes please.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
On an interesting sidenote, believe it or not both the nurses at the hospital, and my sister actually recommended having a beer with each Vicoden. I have been doing this beer with 1 vic every 4 hours, as opposed to 2 vics every 4 hours. The results have been excellent! I actually felt good enough to go out to dinner last night.. woohoo! I love modern medicine.


I have not showered since Tuesday evening. I can now smell myself and im starting to feel yucky.

My phone tore out of my jeans and launched down the road. It now makes pretty colors.



Last but not least we have the panties ! Notice the lack of feces or urine... however I may be looking into kevlar lined boxers in the future.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 · (Edited)
Ok I just showered. Little did I know tha dropplets of water shooting into my open wound would provide me with an amazing sensation f burning fiery pain. If nothing else, this experience has opened my eyes to unbelievable experiences of torture. I followed that beautiful aquatic experince by allowing my sister to replace the dressing... the neosporin now feels like alien acid... i halfheartedly expect to start peeing blood because the rash is around my kidney!

Now comes the coup de gras. While changing shirts, i attempt to put on a t shirt. In the process my shoulder dislocates itself and rather than smoothly returning to its rightful place in the socket, decides to stay stuck out. I have no doubt in my mind that if I was into S&M, I would have the mother of all orgasmic experiences, so much so that it would require me sevaral days and many gallons of fluids to refill my testes. Unfortunately, I am not into S&M, and therefore this was the complete opposite feeling. Oh well... after I stop yelling and my sister stops laughing at me she kindly asks if I would like her to replace shoulder. "Why yes, thatt would be quite pleasant" I respond.. well actually my response contained quite a few adjectives that woulds no doubt get me fined by the fcc.

She then explained that the new backpack retard looking brace (i feel like I have to wear a special white helmet when I am in it) can do it for me. She places the brace on, tightens it and 'Pop' my shoulder returns to its rightful origin, but not before I ask the entire neighborhood to have sexual relations with their maternal relatives.

Ok, back to the good stuff. $275 worth of impound fees, and 1 free tow courtesy of my AAA membership , and I am now back in posession of my motorcycle. It was leaking gas, so the first truck driver refused to take it. The second guy called him a P^%$#@ and strapped it up to his hook. Before they brought it home I snapped some pix.

It was weird seeing it, I honestly expected it to look worse. Believe it or not, the frame sliders did their jibs saving the engine casings from any damage. Obviusly the front took the most damage. It is also leaking all kinds of fluids. The tank is completely crushed. The front cowl is nowhere to be seen and must have exploded like the death star upon impact with the car The rear however almost looks salvageable. Parts of this bike may just visit ebay!









 

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What a great write up, even though it's in the "crash" section!! I could have went without seeing you underwear though. I'm glad that you made it through the incedent & you still have a great sense of humor. Your very lucky that you didn't end up like me (with 2 broken heel bones...I didn't have boots on either though). Hope everything works out with your bike & take care of that rash buddy (best to leave it open so it will develope a scab). Thanks for the tip on the beer with the vicaden, I'm gonna try that out tonight...hehe. I'll post pics of my accident when I can get to a scanner or something. By the way, did you get a lawyer?

Get well soon!!!!!
Blake
 

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Damn glad u r ok. Good sense of humor, heal up soon.
 

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great sense of humor you got there
glad you are feeling a lil better
hope you heal up quick and start riding again
 

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Glad to see you're doing good

And with all the pics of everything and the fact that you split your pants.......i'm really glad you didn't get road rash on your anus.
 

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dang!! mitch!

didn't realize it was that bad!

Good seeing you at Big Willow yesterday, you seem to be just fine already.
 
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