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A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first,
but
her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:


"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In
this country....we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa

tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
 

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eheheheheeh! You made me laughing a lot with this joke.....:icon_lol: even thought I'm italian!!!!
Here, in funny joke like this, we always tease (or make fun of which is the correct form??:confused1 )about germans and french....(french most of all!)
 

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A lady goes into the ice cream parlor and the owner asks her what would she like. She asks for two scoops of strawberry on a cone. The manager apologizes and tells her they are out of strawberry, would she like something else. She says sure, I'll have two scoops of strawberry. The manager apologizes again and repeats his question. The lady again replies sure, I'll have two scoops of strawberry. The manager says lady, can you find the straw in strawberry? She says yes, of course. He asks, can you find the berry in strawberry? Again she says yes, of course, it is obvious. So he asks, can you find the f*ck in strawberry? She says no, there is no f*ck in strawberry. He says thats what I've been trying to tell you, there's no f*ckin' strawberry!
 

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RRdvark said:
A lady goes into the ice cream parlor and the owner asks her what would she like. She asks for two scoops of strawberry on a cone. The manager apologizes and tells her they are out of strawberry, would she like something else. She says sure, I'll have two scoops of strawberry. The manager apologizes again and repeats his question. The lady again replies sure, I'll have two scoops of strawberry. The manager says lady, can you find the straw in strawberry? She says yes, of course. He asks, can you find the berry in strawberry? Again she says yes, of course, it is obvious. So he asks, can you find the f*ck in strawberry? She says no, there is no f*ck in strawberry. He says thats what I've been trying to tell you, there's no f*ckin' strawberry!

Thats a varyation of a joke thats been around for a while now, but good all the same


I need to go check my archives (meaning take the time to remember some of my good ones)
 

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A pirate walks into a pub and orders a beer.
The bartender says "hey redbeard I haven't seen you in ages, how's life?"
"Ahrrr", says redbear, "life is good".
Barkeep: Really? I see you have a pegleg now. What happened?
Redbeard: Ahrrr...a cannonball from a french frigate took me leg off two years ago.
Barkeep: You've got a hook for a hand now too. What about that?
Redbeard: Ahrrr...When we plundered a british galleon, a had to fight the limey captain and he took me hand off before I could run 'im through.
Barkeep: Wow. What's the story with the eyepatch?
Redbeard: Ahrrr...we were sailing on a beautiful day and when I looked a blasted seagull crapped in my eye.
Barkeep: That doesn't seem that bad.
Redbeard:Ahrrr...it was the first day with me hook.


Lame - but talking like a pirate makes it fun
 
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