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Discussion Starter #1
What's up fellas and ladies.

I need some advice from everyone here. Here is the story. My sister in law has been struggling with an ongoing drug addiction. It has never got in the way of her life until recently. My wife and there mother tried to intervene (sp.) with no luck. now for the last 2 days she has been missing. Last night I found her at some guys house who is known to be a "thug" (lol). Anyway i went in and got her; we rode around for a few hours and talked about everything. Here is my question; How can I help her with out her feeling that i am trying to make her mind up for her? any advice would be greatly appreciated. I really want her to be here for my son that will be born next month; but I am afraid that the path she is on wont allow that. sorry for all the misspellings and thanks in advance for your help.
 

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It's not the answer you want to hear, but I've been down this path and continue with a family member myself. There's nothing you can really do but support them and encourage them. A good rehab program is really the only thing I've seen work 9 times out of 10 and even then there are usually relapses. Something like 80% of users will relapse within their first 6 months clean. I'm really sorry you have to deal with something like this....it's one of the most horrible things a family can go through, PM me if you'd like to talk about it more and I can get you some info on programs around the US and whatnot.
 

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Your avator doesnt help!! LOL... But on a serious note. I believe that First she needs to make up her own mind before she is able to accept help. You can do or say anything you want but if she's comfortable with what she is becoming then your words will fall on deaf ears. Somehow before you or anyone trying to help needs to figure out a way to convince her that she is loosing more then gaining with the path of life she is on. When she understands that, that is when she will start accepting help. I could be wrong but thats how I feel. Good luck man!
 

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Discussion Starter #4
HighLineCBR said:
Your avator doesnt help!! LOL... But on a serious note. I believe that First she needs to make up her own mind before she is able to accept help. You can do or say anything you want but if she's comfortable with what she is becoming then your words will fall on deaf ears. Somehow before you or anyone trying to help needs to figure out a way to convince her that she is loosing more then gaining with the path of life she is on. When she understands that, that is when she will start accepting help. I could be wrong but thats how I feel. Good luck man!
I think that damn chipmunk is her dealer (j/k) anyway I appreciate the advice. Keep it comeing
 

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pm sent! Your message must have 10 characters at least.
Your message is too short
 

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rough, rough, rough topic. I've got a lot of family thats wacked out beyond your common folks imagination and the unfortunate truth is the system either has to grab them, twist them, and contort them off the **** (which rarely seems to work these days) or you have to offer a higher benefit than her getting high off of whatever she does.

It's almost impossible to get someone off drugs that isn't ready. Once you get used to the lifestyle, thats the lifestyle you live. Sometimes family and friends can convince them it'll be better for their future but not the majority of the time unfortunately. My grandma works for a rehab facility, my dad works for a rehab facility in another state and nearly the rest of my family is being chased down by these rehab facilities. it's warped.

My best advice would be to ask her what she wants out of life. Sometimes their so deep they don't feel purpose anymore. I always just try and get em to visit as often as possible and enjoy life as it was meant to. Let those adrenaline glands getcha high as hell. Get her psyched for a good life or scare her from what she's facing and try not to let her leave for a few weeks. A busy schedule helps.

Take my advice with a grain of salt. No two abusers are at all the same and each needs to be aproached differently. It would be smart to call your local rehabilitation center and/or drug therapists /councilors and see what they have to say about it. What she's doing has a lot to do with it.

I'd start with "I'm concerned"... And work off of reactions.
 

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Liquid said:
rough, rough, rough topic. I've got a lot of family thats wacked out beyond your common folks imagination and the unfortunate truth is the system either has to grab them, twist them, and contort them off the s**t (which rarely seems to work these days) or you have to offer a higher benefit than her getting high off of whatever she does.

It's almost impossible to get someone off drugs that isn't ready. Once you get used to the lifestyle, thats the lifestyle you live. Sometimes family and friends can convince them it'll be better for their future but not the majority of the time unfortunately. My grandma works for a rehab facility, my dad works for a rehab facility in another state and nearly the rest of my family is being chased down by these rehab facilities. it's warped.

My best advice would be to ask her what she wants out of life. Sometimes their so deep they don't feel purpose anymore. I always just try and get em to visit as often as possible and enjoy life as it was meant to. Let those adrenaline glands getcha high as hell. Get her psyched for a good life or scare her from what she's facing and try not to let her leave for a few weeks. A busy schedule helps.

Take my advice with a grain of salt. No two abusers are at all the same and each needs to be aproached differently. It would be smart to call your local rehabilitation center and/or drug therapists /councilors and see what they have to say about it. What she's doing has a lot to do with it.

I'd start with "I'm concerned"... And work off of reactions.
so very true.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Liquid said:
rough, rough, rough topic. I've got a lot of family thats wacked out beyond your common folks imagination and the unfortunate truth is the system either has to grab them, twist them, and contort them off the s**t (which rarely seems to work these days) or you have to offer a higher benefit than her getting high off of whatever she does.

It's almost impossible to get someone off drugs that isn't ready. Once you get used to the lifestyle, thats the lifestyle you live. Sometimes family and friends can convince them it'll be better for their future but not the majority of the time unfortunately. My grandma works for a rehab facility, my dad works for a rehab facility in another state and nearly the rest of my family is being chased down by these rehab facilities. it's warped.

My best advice would be to ask her what she wants out of life. Sometimes their so deep they don't feel purpose anymore. I always just try and get em to visit as often as possible and enjoy life as it was meant to. Let those adrenaline glands getcha high as hell. Get her psyched for a good life or scare her from what she's facing and try not to let her leave for a few weeks. A busy schedule helps.

Take my advice with a grain of salt. No two abusers are at all the same and each needs to be aproached differently. It would be smart to call your local rehabilitation center and/or drug therapists /councilors and see what they have to say about it. What she's doing has a lot to do with it.

I'd start with "I'm concerned"... And work off of reactions.
thanks for the advice; i actually tried the "I'm concerned" ... last night and that really got her to open up to me a lot more. I told her that it was more important to me that she be there for my soon to be born son's high school graduation then for her to be clean; but i didnt think she would make it if she didnt clean herself up. After that being said she started crying her eyes out and said that no one had ever made her feel like sh!t in away that she appreciated it.
 

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just don't be fooled into a 'one sitting' conversation... 99% of the drugs on the market that are addictive warp the crap out of your emotions so it's pretty easy to start spilling your guts and making promises to yourself and others.. It's a whole nother thing to keep to em. To tell you the truth being in a family of retards I've done my fair share of drugs.. and I will sadly admit that if certain ones are handed to me. or put down with someone saying "here ya go". I'll do em. Which leads to the major point of the harder drug world. If someone does break free of the ring of addiction it doesn't take a dealer $5 worth of whatever the hell he's got to get the addiction-less person hooked again. All the dealer has to do is throw it down on the table and let em have it free. It's called "Flippin em". I don't know many people who have rehabilitated that can't be flipped. I've seen it way to many times. thats the long term struggle youl'l have to deal with even if you get a good start.


I'd get some phone numbers and get local help. Everywhere is different. I live in missouri where meth is the big thing. Adn even tho' it's a crushing addiction it's not nearly as bad as a lot of the other stuff.

don't give up on people you love... ever.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Liquid said:
just don't be fooled into a 'one sitting' conversation... 99% of the drugs on the market that are addictive warp the crap out of your emotions so it's pretty easy to start spilling your guts and making promises to yourself and others.. It's a whole nother thing to keep to em. To tell you the truth being in a family of retards I've done my fair share of drugs.. and I will sadly admit that if certain ones are handed to me. or put down with someone saying "here ya go". I'll do em. Which leads to the major point of the harder drug world. If someone does break free of the ring of addiction it doesn't take a dealer $5 worth of whatever the hell he's got to get the addiction-less person hooked again. All the dealer has to do is throw it down on the table and let em have it free. It's called "Flippin em". I don't know many people who have rehabilitated that can't be flipped. I've seen it way to many times. thats the long term struggle youl'l have to deal with even if you get a good start.


I'd get some phone numbers and get local help. Everywhere is different. I live in missouri where meth is the big thing. Adn even tho' it's a crushing addiction it's not nearly as bad as a lot of the other stuff.

don't give up on people you love... ever.
again great advice; I really take everything she says with a grain of salt. I live in arkansas just over the missouri border and it is the same here almost all drug addictions are meth related.
 

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blucbr600 said:
i think the only thing that will help is rehab.
Rehab is almost a joke nowadays. It's like a country club or bed n' breakfast. Especialy the ones you admit yourself into. Even prison won't get an addict off drugs. All those sources bring addicts closer to other addicts...


Drugs realy suck.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Liquid said:
blucbr600 said:
i think the only thing that will help is rehab.
Rehab is almost a joke nowadays. It's like a country club or bed n' breakfast. Especialy the ones you admit yourself into. Even prison won't get an addict off drugs. All those sources bring addicts closer to other addicts...


Drugs realy suck.
I here ya bro
 

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I realy feel for ya man. Meth is bad in the fact that it doesn't take a year for it to numb the mind of the abuser to the point that they just can't think deep enough to even care anymore. Plus beign in this area it's super easy to get free all over the place. I could only imagine being a female.... That has to make it even more rough.

I've been meaning to find my girlfriends brother who resides somewhere here in missouri and is on the same path as your sister in law...
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Liquid said:
I realy feel for ya man. Meth is bad in the fact that it doesn't take a year for it to numb the mind of the abuser to the point that they just can't think deep enough to even care anymore. Plus beign in this area it's super easy to get free all over the place. I could only imagine being a female.... That has to make it even more rough.

I've been meaning to find my girlfriends brother who resides somewhere here in missouri and is on the same path as your sister in law...
let me know if I can help find your girlfriends brother; I know missouri like the back of my hand. I am origionally from hannibal
 

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last night and that really got her to open up to me a lot more. I told her that it was more important to me that she be there for my soon to be born son's high school graduation then for her to be clean; but i didnt think she would make it if she didnt clean herself up. After that being said she started crying her eyes out and said that no one had ever made her feel like sh!t in away that she appreciated it.
that tells me she is ready to be helped.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
eazy e said:
last night and that really got her to open up to me a lot more. I told her that it was more important to me that she be there for my soon to be born son's high school graduation then for her to be clean; but i didnt think she would make it if she didnt clean herself up. After that being said she started crying her eyes out and said that no one had ever made her feel like sh!t in away that she appreciated it.
that tells me she is ready to be helped.
I hope so and I am going to hopefully build off of it
 

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Keep 'er home =) And for every hour/12/24/ day she's not spun let her know how much it means to you and the entire family... That seems to help some.

Actualy he was supposed to get ahold of us becuase he didn't know "where" he would be in missouri. You know how they are. We sit and hope. sit and hope. First phone call I get though and we'll have a new roomie for as long as I can keep em...
 

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Liquid said:
Keep 'er home =) And for every hour/12/24/ day she's not spun let her know how much it means to you and the entire family... That seems to help some.

Actualy he was supposed to get ahold of us becuase he didn't know "where" he would be in missouri. You know how they are. We sit and hope. sit and hope. First phone call I get though and we'll have a new roomie for as long as I can keep em...
my prayers are with you all man; good looking out
 

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Dang scotch, that's tough. I've never been through that myself.
I'm sorry you and your family are going through this.

My only advice is to stick with it and don't give up on her. Sounds
like you have a long road a head of you.

Hang tough buddy!

Good luck....
 
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