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Do you feel a prenup is a good idea?

  • Yes I agree a prenup is a good idea

    Votes: 34 94.4%
  • No a prenup is not necessary

    Votes: 2 5.6%

  • Total voters
    36
  • Poll closed .
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Discussion Starter #1
Hey guys, and gals.

I'm wondering what you all think of signing a prenuptial agreement before marriage.

The situation is I'm considering marrying a girl from South America who I've never met, but have been in constant email with one another for the past few months and seems to be a pretty nice girl so far.

Marrying her would mean sponsoring her and just in case I'd like to sign a prenuptial agreement with her so that my savings and such would at least perhaps be protected should she end up wanting to divorce me soon after getting her residency or such. I have also been betrayed in the past by people I've previously trusted such as family so I'm trying to be more cautious.

She argues that if I trust her like I say I do then it wouldn't be necessary but I've explained to her that I've seen people change their mentality and beliefs and a person could often like someone one minute then turn on them the next.

Secondly she says it would embarrass her family which I agree.



So Basically I'm asking what do you guys think, Would you want you're potential spouse to sign a premarital agreement?
 

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Under other circumstances (i.e. you and the girl have been dating for a few years, met each other's families, know each other's intimate details and true character through personal experience, etc.), then you might feel that a prenup is not necessary.

Granted that you've never met this girl, have doubts about her intentions - there are just too many red flags for you to ignore.


She argues that if I trust her like I say I do then it wouldn't be necessary but I've explained to her that I've seen people change their mentality and beliefs and a person could often like someone one minute then turn on them the next.

That can be argued back by saying - "if you do love me and intend to not leave me, then what's the hassle with signing a silly document anyways?"

The bigger question is - are you seriously considering marrying her? Or is it just a notion to think about further down the road AFTER you have met her in person? "A pretty nice girl so far" is a bit of a stretch of a reason to get married, in my opinion. Then again, I see couples that had dated for 10 years before getting married last but a few years.

I'm going to speculate that 1) she's super hot, and/or 2) that you guys must have made somewhat a connection for you to even consider marrying her without even meeting her in person. But that veers from your original question, so I will return to your original question, and vote YES, I think you should definitely get a prenup.
 

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in your case get a prenup..... you can argue back that if she love you she should not worry about ur money etc and sign the damn paper lol
 

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I guess I'm the only one here who doesn't think its necessary...

If you're not ready to say "I do" without a prenup... then maybe you're not with the right person or ready to be saying those words?

(and yes, I am married)


....... Okay, I answered and responded before I read the OP's situation. I would strongly recommend that you think long and hard before you decide to marry her (with or without a prenup). You could be setting yourself up for a HUGE MISTAKE. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how this pole turns out. I'm sure you already know what you are going to do. Be careful my friend, and good luck to the both of you.
 

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Are you serious?
+1

How can you trust someone you have never met. Why are you considering marrying a girl you have never met. Why would you trust your finances to a girl you have never met.

She is clearly just doing it for citizenship. If you want to be a kind soul and give her that then fine. But CYA my friend. Like you said, you dont want her just taking you for the citizenship then splitting with half of your stuff.

Take a tip from Eddie:

 

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Discussion Starter #9
Hey guys, I've been thinking of meeting her next year before possibly getting marrying, we're in the mist of debating this prenup thing now though first. I tried to imply to her that her parents don't necessarily have to know about it, but she does not really want to sign one herself this point.

She is fairly beautiful and I honestly do feel our personalities would suit each other well in person. I'm a pretty quiet guy who doesn't really go to bars or nightclubs and when I see a girl I like initially I find it very difficult to get it in me to go and approach her/start and hold a conversation.
 

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FIRST OFF. Why would you Marry someone you have NEVER MET?

SECOND... YES GET A PRENUP
+1, wtf are you thinking? someone you've never met! I hope this is a joke for your sake bro.:iamwith:
 

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Before everyone jumps on this and FLAMES the guy, try to understand that EVERYONE is different. Not everyone is stud. Not everyone is GREAT with the ladies. Not everyone is sociable. Not everyone is a smooth talker.

I don't think this is a troll post, so I'll take the time to post my thoughts.

For whatever reasons that you might consider actually marrying this girl, I think the SMART thing to do is to do it with a prenuptial agreement. You DO NOT know what her intentions are. As for your perception of a personality that works well with yours, it's just that - a perception. She can present herself however she wants to you. You don't know how she'll be when you actually get married. Her intentions may not be apparent now, but surely, it seems that there is more to gain for her...

If she is persistent about NOT having the prenuptial, then something is up. Sure, her parents may find out and disagree with it...She's not marrying you for her parents...She should be marrying you. You don't know her and cannot say that she is in LOVE with you and that she'll stay with you once you marry her.

I always believe in PROTECTING myself until I have REASON to trust someone.
 

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If you feel that your personalities are well suited for each other - that is fantastic. But why the marriage talk so soon? If you feel like it has the potential to be something serious, then fly down there to meet her in person (or fly her to you), spend some time with her, and go from there. Perhaps that sponsoring her citizenship is a long process and you are eager to get a head start if she is the one you want to end up being with. But if she IS the one you want to end up being with, there STILL shouldn't be that much of a rush for things.

Keep in mind that you guys are still in the early/honeymoon stages of a blossoming relationship - the stage where you put on your best behavior, say the right things, are extra attentive, etc. - time will tell. I do strongly suggest that you meet in person and spend significant time together before you jump too far ahead. And while doing the exciting touristy things are fun and all - take the opportunity to spend time in her life during her regular routine (i.e. work/school/etc.) - it's easy to be in love when you're holding hands strolling through Disneyland or other romantic/touristy landmarks, but how do you guys settle a minor/major conflict? When you're tired and cranky from work? How do you guys communicate when it comes to deeper, underlying issues?

Keep us posted on your blossoming relationship - but be careful and stay realistic. Best of luck to you!
 

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yea you are crazy dude. i dont know how you could marry a chick you have never even seen in person. i wouldnt even marry a chick after that short of a time period neway. personally i dontthink the question is to get a prenup or not, you should be worried more about actually marrying this girl. there is no point to rush off and get married.
you know divorce costs money right?
 

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aside from the extreme amount of fail and stupidity.....how much is she paying ya for citizenship?
 

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Discussion Starter #19
to clarify, I was going to meet and spend some time with her before marrige. She's not paying me anything for citizenship as this was to be a legit marriage.

With her, like my intentions would be I suppose with any girl I'd start talking to.. The original idea was to find somenoe compatible for marriage with me. But I guess I shouldn't rush into things too soon or at least sign a prenup just in case.
 

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you are crazy man if you trust her so much man.... dont do it or you will end up with half of your money and so .... DONT plsss
 
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