What does your buddies condition have to do with the movie review? There is nothing redeeming or informational about your review.
And the movie sucks.
This is a proper review:
Yes, I know you gals will want to see it because the guys are sooooo cute. But other than just a little bit of man meat, this story is ass. I didn't even need to see it. I saw one thirty second commercial about it, and I can tell you it's just a bunch of *beep* wrapped into a pseudo war movie. I use the term war movie loosely, because it's really more about a bunch of whiny pussies who got in over their necks and tried to cry "uncle" when they realized they were in over their heads. Plus, before I go on my tirade, I just want to mention that this movie is made by MTV, the same manufacturer of mentally disfiguring films such as "Good Burger." Seriously, they made "Good Burger." These people are just lucky that art can not be considered a crime if done badly, because they'd get the mother *beep* death penalty.
Let's get to the premise. I am going to base my opinion on the commercial, which is all I have to go on. I will not download this piece of ass, even if it would be legal. But the commercial is far more than enough to let me be able to say that this is the worst dreck of a film made about the military since Jarhead. If you think Jarhead was accurate and cool, then you are legally retarded and should not be allowed to wield forks at the dinner table.
The premise is that a few soldiers just got back from deployment, and are about to get out of the army. The day that they are supposed to get out of the army, they get stop-lossed. If you are unsure of what this means, let me explain. Stop-loss is a rule in which if the military feels it needs a certain amount of troops, it can choose to keep people from getting out of the military for an extended amount of time to make sure that sufficient amounts of experienced troops are within the field. The rule is made to make sure the military doesn't have a bunch of frigtard newbies running around and shooting up *beep* without some more experienced soldiers around to keep them from hurting themselves.
So these soldiers in the movie are pissed that they were stop-lossed when all they wanted to do was get out of the military. All I have to say is, "BOO *beep* HOO." I would play the violin for you, but I don't know how. Right away you realize that these soldiers are whining pussies. God forbid a soldier should have to fight and see war. So traumatic! I'm not sure what job they have in the military yet, but I'm sure it will be something stereotypical like infantry or something. Infantry is trained to shoot and kill people. That's their job. If you didn't like it, why the *beep* did you join the military in the first place? To get college money? Well then sucker up and do your job then. You want that measly 10,000 bucks for college, you better find your nuts and play with the big boys.
Apart from them being emo *beep* there is one small discrepancy I have with the movie. THE FACT THAT THEY ARE WRONG. In the commercial, and I quote, the retard says, "I honored my part of the contract, and I expect the military to do the same." Well, uh, which contract are we talking about? The one you signed when you joined the military? You see, that's kind of funny, because within that contract that you signed it specifically says that the military has the right to keep a soldier from terminating his service if they feel like it. This is the Stop-loss article. You know, the whole reason they call it Stop-Loss? Because that's what it's *beep* named after. So you haven't really haven't honored your part of the contract until you serve under the stop-loss rules, have you? So according to the movie quote, this makes you one of several things:
A. Whiney Little Douchebag
B. Too Retarded To Read A Contract Before Signing One
C. In A *beep* Over-Hyped, Badly Written Movie
D. All Of The Above
The secondary part which I don't like is the fact that the women they were coming home to were all thin and beautiful. Bull *beep* *beep* Anybody in the military knows that for the most part, active army boys all have wives that are fat and ugly from worrying and not caring about their bodies. The ones that aren't fat cheat on their husbands. I can not prove this with any definitive data, but I've seen it enough to realize that if I were ever to get back in the military, I'd either send my wife chocolates every day, or get a divorce. It would just be easier that way.
Lastly if you look at the sergeant's ribbon medals, he has so many that he must have sucked like 37 cocks. You can't get that many ribbons as a sergeant. There's no *beep* way. He was more decked out than than a Christmas tree on crack. I'm assuming they wanted to make him look like an overachiever who got done wrong, but the mass of medals makes him look like a butt kissing bling-chaser. The kind of guy who who would *beep* over his whole team to make himself look better, and so he could get a cute lil bar to add onto his collection of douchebag tags. These are the guys who get killed in "friendly fire."
So if you want to go see this *beep* brick of a film; go ahead. Just as long as you realize that this film is just as fictional and biased as let's say, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." Just because there is a chocolate factory doesn't mean there are odd little orange midgets running around and singing. You can't bitch if you join the chocolate factory for four years and then get pissed when the schnozzberries don't taste like schnozzberries. Don't feel bad for a bunch of retards who realized they didn't want to do what they agreed to do anymore. This happens all the time. It's called a job. You sign a contract, you do the job. If not, you pay the consequences. Tough titty.
The only thing that could make this movie anymore *beep* is if there was a Dixie Chicks song in there just to add to the hippie hype that's practically oozing from every crack of this shattered film.
If you watch this movie, please don't tell me. If you feel the need to, at least just tell me you watched it to see man nipples. That would be much better than saying you wanted to see it for the storyline, because then I would have to realize that you are the type of person who can't go down a flight of stairs without a bicycle helmet. If you need to see a better movie, I hear "Good Burger" is out on DVD finally. Thank god.
"Oh and if you dare say that I dont know whats it like get a freakin clue! I date models and strippers. So dont tell me that I dont know whats its like!" - BDiddy